>> august, 2007

>> August 5, 2007

6,000 TEENS DIE IN CAR CRASHES EACH YEAR

You might have seen a recent television commercial showing carloads of teens driving down a road as a voice reminds us that, “Every year, nearly 6,000 teenagers go out for a drive and never come back.” Car crashes are the No. 1 cause of death for teens, mostly because of inexperience, risk-taking and driving under the influence of alcohol and other drugs. Another 300,000 teens — enough to fill six football stadiums — are injured in car crashes each year. It’s a sobering thought for parents, especially during the summer when teen fatalities peak, but there are ways to minimize the risks.

First, try to provide the safest possible car for your teen to drive. If you can’t afford a military tank, look for safety features that are proven lifesavers: front and side airbags, crumple zones and reinforced steel beams along the sides (go to www.highwaysafety.org for safety ratings). Second, require a minimum of 50 practice hours in all types of weather and conditions before your teen drives unsupervised. Third, for the first year or two after your teen receives his or her license, limit passengers. Research confirms that one passenger almost doubles the fatal crash risk compared with driving alone, and having two or more passengers increases the risk fivefold.

CHARGE BY THE MILE
My father came up with a fair and equitable way for his teenagers to share the costs of operating the family car. He would check the odometer before we left and again when we returned, and he charged us a nominal fee per mile that we had driven. That covered the cost of gas, oil, maintenance and insurance. We thought twice before driving somewhere without a real purpose in mind, and cruising was out of the question.
-- B.B., Bountiful, Utah
Note: This tip is quite timely, with the high price of gas and the effect on the environment. (T.M.)

PROGRESSIVE DISCIPLINE
Progressive discipline begins with counseling (“You shouldn't do this because....”), then a warning (“Do this again and you will lose x”). If you're taking things away, start with a privilege and explain the next step (“Do this again and you will lose not just x, but also y”). Then take away the TV / iPod / computer (or just the Internet connection) privileges. Next, take away social privileges (basically grounding). Most young children and teens adjust their behavior positively after receiving a warning or a minor punishment. Others need a steady and progressive series of discipline before they change their inappropriate behavior.
-- Marc, San Leandro, Calif.

AFTER STREP THROAT, REPLACE THE TOOTHBRUSH
Recently our nephew had strep throat four times before his parents figured out that he was reinfecting himself with his toothbrush.
-- K.H., Pueblo, Col.
Note: Toothbrushes tend to collect germs, so replace them regularly. (T.M.)

A BREAKFAST MENU
I take care of my grandson, now 4-1/2, every day. At breakfast, we had gone through many choices of what there was to eat, but he ultimately chooses the same food over and over. My husband came up with the idea of making a menu. I cut 3-by-5-inch cards in half, on which I printed five different breakfast menus in large lettering and placed them on my grandson's placemat in alphabetical order. Now, not only does he order something different each morning (he is allowed to reuse one menu of his choosing each week) and is he enjoying new foods, but he also is learning to recognize letters and words on the cards.
-- Karen Nicles, Walnut Creek, Calif.

SPECIAL TREAT—ONLY IN BIG-GIRL CUP
To interest my daughter in drinking from a cup instead of a bottle, I would prepare her favorite treat only in a cup. This yummy treat (blended strawberries mixed in milk) was never available in a bottle. She loved it so much that the cup was not an issue. After a couple of days she forgot about her bottles entirely.
-- Margaret R., Orlando, Flor.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2007 TomMcMahon

>> August 12, 2007

PREPARING OUR CHILDREN FOR ADULTHOOD

Four years ago, my wife and I drove our older daughter 300 miles from home to begin her new life as a university student. In a month, she will be leaving again, this time to teach in France for a year before beginning graduate school.
Our youngest will be leaving for the same university in a week. She’s ready and eager. In fact, she can’t wait. She has already met her roommate, and she knows her way around campus. After we help set up her dorm room, say our goodbyes — and most likely shed a tear — my wife and I will be strengthened in knowing that we have given her roots and wings. She will be fine.

The roots we have given her are the sacrifices and efforts of the past 18 years to instill in her the importance of family, community, education, country, values and faith. Hopefully, by now, her roots are deep and wide. Now is the time when we will reap the benefits of our time, energy, love and support. It’s also time for her to spread her wings; to further discover who she is, her passions and her calling. As I walk away from her dorm room next week, I will be saying to myself “Fly, baby, fly,” which will be my wish for her.

Thanks to the readers of this column for sending in your favorite kid tips this week.

COLLEGE STUDENTS GET LOCAL NEWS
So our children at college could keep up on their hometown news, my husband and I arranged for each to have a subscription to our small community newspaper. They've enjoyed keeping up on local news, familiar people and favorite places.
-- B.J.T., Los Gatos, Calif.

TOY PICKUP — BY WAGON
When toys clutter the entire house, we pull a wagon around in which we collect the toys to be put away. It sure saves time and steps.
-- Angie S., Patriot, Ind.

STORMY TEEN YEARS
Tom, I learned this from a column I read nearly 20 years ago. A mother and daughter, who were very close, started to bicker as the teen years approached. After a difficult evening and a stormy bedtime, the mother sat down and wrote in a special book (notebook or journal) about how she was feeling about the argument. She left it on her daughter's bedside table. The daughter awoke to find it and wrote back to her mother about her feelings. Sometimes, they exchanged the book several times until they had reached a point where they could deal with a situation verbally, but often they were able to resolve things in writing and end with loving messages.

My preteen daughter and I used this idea when similar stormy times occurred. A practice such as this can help kids sort out their feelings through writing and can reinforce the power of the written word, while keeping a lovely record of a developing relationship. I've often thought this might even help some adult couples! Now that my daughter is a lovely young woman, college graduate and dear friend, it's a sweet reminder to look back and reflect on those times.
-- Laurel Yeates, Alameda, Calif.

CLEANING STUFFED ANIMALS
An effective and easy way to clean stuffed animals is to use the hand attachment on your vacuum.
-- R.W., Seattle

WHY? WHY? WHY?
I think every parent and grandparent at one time or another gets exasperated with the "whys" that seem endless. While driving through a large parking garage with my grandson and son-in-law, I heard my son-in-law give the perfect answer! I have been using it since then with my 4-year-old grandson, and it always works. Max was asking his dad why there were so many cars in the garage. Dad gave him the answer: people who work there, people coming to visit their friends and relatives, etc. who are sick, etc. But, even after that explanation, Max kept asking, "But, why are there so many cars here?" Then, Chris (Dad) gave the perfect answer, "Why do YOU think there are so many cars here?" Max responded by repeating almost verbatim what Chris had said earlier, and there were no more questions (on that topic, at least) after that. I've raised two children of my own, and been an elementary teacher for 22 years, but I thought that was the best response I had ever heard!
-- Janet Tipton, Lafayette, Ind.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2007 TomMcMahon

>> August 19, 2007

HAULING YOUR STUFF SAFELY TO SCHOOL

Every year, thousands of children seek medical attention for it. Many kids have permanent damage to their spine because of it. Thousands more complain of back, neck and shoulder pain. Others complain of a tingling or numbness in their hands and arms. The culprit: school backpacks with too much weight or worn improperly (slung over one shoulder or worn it low on the back).

Parents need to take this issue seriously. Some children carry 40 percent to 50 percent of their body weight on their backs; 15% is the recommended maximum. Weigh your child, and then determine what 15 percent of his body weight is. Use your bathroom scale frequently to make sure the pack is within its maximum weight.

It’s time that parents and school officials address this issue together, even if it means battling the adolescent code of what is “cool.” If school districts cannot afford to buy extra copies of textbooks to keep at home, they need to initiate policies limiting the amount of books carried home each day. Wheeled packs with telescopic handles should be promoted, even if they are not “cool.” Certain design features of backpacks should be endorsed, such as wide, padded shoulder straps, and a hip strap to distribute weight and padded back. Improper use of backpacks should not be tolerated by parents, especially wearing the pack low on one’s back. Health must win out over “cool” on this issue.

Thanks to the parents who shared a kid tip with us this week.

UNNECESSARY WEIGHT IN PACK
Parents should periodically check their children’s school backpacks for items that may add unnecessary and perhaps harmful weight. I occasionally find heavy books, extra binders, sports equipment and personal items that are not needed on a particular day. I recommend not buying the large size backpacks; children will fill whatever size you buy.
-- N.K.M., Wilmette, Ill.

COFFEE MUG TRIMS CRUST
If your kids don’t like crust on their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, trim it off by pressing the rim of a coffee mug down on a piece of bread. I have one mug that makes the largest possible circle out of a piece of bread without using the crust. Not only is the crust gone, but kids always enjoy the novelty of eating a round sandwich.
-- L.T., Sonora, Calif.

DIAPER WIPES FOR POTTY TRAINING
During potty training, children don’t often do a thorough job using toilet paper after a bowel movement. To help with this, let the child use a diaper wipe on his or her last wipe.
-- J.K.N., Provo, Utah

DOCTOR'S KIT CAN PREPARE FOR REAL THING
When my son was 18 months old, he was afraid to go to the doctor. I bought him a play doctor's kit, which he loved to play with. I especially encouraged him to play with it before we went to the doctor's office. We took it with us for his appointment, and the doctor gave himself a quick exam with the play kit. My son was less fearful of doctor appointments after that — he even seemed to enjoy the visits.
-- Debra R., East Haven, Conn.

SIPPY CUP TIPS
If your baby doesn’t know how to drink from a sippy cup, dip the spout in milk or formula and bring it to your baby’s lips. Hopefully, he or she will realize that the spout is similar to a nipple. Also, sippy cups need to be thoroughly cleaned, especially the hard-to-reach areas such as the valve (on some models) and top. I place these parts in a small container with a tablet of denture cleaner. After a few hours of soaking the parts, everything should be clean.
-- J.D., Springfield, Mass.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2007 TomMcMahon

>> August 26, 2007

SCHOOL CARPOOLS: HOW TO MAKE IT WORK

School carpools offer many benefits: They can save you money by reducing the number of miles driven on your car, reduce traffic congestion, improve air quality and save you time (my wife and I reduced our driving by six or seven hours each week when we carpooled).

The only difficulty will be is following the 10-page directive the school will provide for entering and exiting the school’s carpool lanes.

Some school districts are now offering a link on their Web site where you can find other parents in your neighborhood who want to join a carpool. Another trend is the “Walking School Bus,” where groups of children walk specific routes to school with adult supervision. Kids are picked up along the way — just like a bus. It’s a great way to get some exercise.

The key to a successful carpool, say the experts, is rules that are agreed upon by all participants — parents and students. It only takes one consistently late driver or student to sour the entire experience. I also recommend taking the advice of our first contributor below — a seasoned carpool organizer.

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who contributed a parenting tip this week. Please share your good ideas with the readers of this column.

DON’T CARPOOL WITHOUT ONE
As the organizer of a school carpool for six high-school students, I gave each of the parents a list of home addresses and phone numbers — including the cell phone numbers of the students (if they have one). The lists are laminated and kept in the parents’ cars. On one side are the home addresses and phone numbers of the parents (home, work and cell) and school. On the other side are the cell phone numbers of the students. Believe me, these numbers will frequently come in handy during the school year, like when a parent forgets to drive on her scheduled day or when you can’t find a student after school.
-- N.T.M., Pleasanton, Calif.

GHOSTS DON’T LIKE GREEN CURTAINS
My grandson was frightened of ghosts until I told him that ghosts don’t like green curtains. Of course, there were green curtains in the room where he slept when he visited my house. This worked so well when he visited me that his mother eventually put green curtains in his room at home.
-- Genie G., Lansing, Mich.

HEAVY SCHOOL BACKPACKS
I was interested in your column about heavy school backpacks. Textbook-publishing companies could cut the weight of a heavy book in half by making two volumes. The first volume would be for the first half of the school year, and the second volume would be for the second half.
-- J.O., Carmichael, Calif.

VEGGIES SERVED FIRST
As a day care provider, I have tried many different ways to get children to eat their vegetables. What worked best was to serve them their vegetables first--before the rest of their meal. They eat better when they're hungry. If you serve the veggies with the rest of the meal, they will likely fill up on the rest of their food, leaving the veggies on their plate. It's also been my experience that children like frozen vegetables better than canned ones.
-- Robin W., Winterset, Iowa

LAMINATED CARD FOR TEEN
Knowing that many teens drive after drinking alcohol or doing drugs, I laminated a small card with my home and cell phone numbers and those of three other close relatives and good friends who live nearby. The top of the card read: “NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE OR GET INTO A CAR WITH SOMEONE WHO DID.” My son knows that he can always call one of us if he is faced with the decision of driving while under the influence — with total immunity.
-- M.R., San Francisco

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2007 TomMcMahon