>> February, 2008

>>February 3, 2008

COLIC: TOUGH ON BABIES AND PARENTS

Babies cry mostly because they need something — food, sleep, more or less stimulation, a clean diaper, comfort or something to suck. In addition, sometimes babies cry because they have colic, a period of time when there are intense and lengthy bouts of crying for which there is no obvious reason. It’s most common in newborns during the first 3 months. Since no one theory has prevailed in explaining colic, many researchers believe there are multiple causes. Pediatric reflux disorder has symptoms similar to colic.

Our first child’s 3-week battle with colic over two decades ago remains as my most stressful parenting episode. My wife and I felt helpless. I remember our baby’s painful grimace, knees drawn up to her chest, clenched fists and piercing wails for hours on end.

Since there are many possible explanations for colic, I recommend doing some detective work to determine the cause for your child. Begin by tracking the food you eat if you are breastfeeding. In addition, keep a diary of the exact feeding and prolonged crying times for your baby. You might discover a correlation.

Our first contributor below adds some more insight on this topic.

TREATING COLIC
Thank you for doing your column and helping many. My son had colic for over nine weeks, crying for eight to 10 hours at a time. The culprit, I finally learned, was my own breast milk. As soon as I stopped eating nuts and drinking milk (using calcium supplements instead), his colic disappeared. I encourage moms to be aware of particular food items they eat that cause them gas. A mom’s breast milk could transfer a similar discomfort to their babies. Also, try nursing your babies while they are sitting up instead of lying down.
-- Beth G., Pleasant Hill, Calif.

DISCARDING USED TISSUES
When my kids have a cold or flu, I use masking tape to attach a small brown lunch bag on their nightstand, bunk bed or headboard. They toss their used tissues inside, and I discard the bag and all when it is full.
-- Anonymous

CLOSE YOUR BARN DOOR
My friend’s son went through a time when he would forget to zip his fly after using the bathroom. When she noticed it, she would say quietly, "Son, it is half past 10." He would turn away and correct the oversight. It spared him the embarrassment. -- Addy Tatto, Berkeley, Calif.

THE LIGHTS ARE ON
It was always comforting to know that my teen daughters had returned home safely from an evening outing. Instead of trying to stay up until they returned home, I would always leave a light on in the living room, which they would turn out when they came home. If I woke up during the night, I could see out through my slightly open bedroom door whether the light was off or not. If it was, I could go right back to sleep, knowing that my daughters were home.
-- A.E.J., East Haven, Conn.
Note: This tip will work for many teens, but not for all. Some teens will turn out the light, then tiptoe right out the door again. (T.M.)

THE LUCKIEST DADDY
Each night after the entire bedtime routine, when our young children were snuggled in their beds, I would tell them: “I’m the luckiest daddy in the whole world. Of all the men in the world, God chose me to be your daddy.” They would look up at me with a glowing smile.
-- M.C., Sonora, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2008 TomMcMahon

>> February 10, 2008

THE ART AND SCIENCE OF NAP TIME

Newborns test their parents with an around-the-clock, irregular sleep schedule averaging 16 hours of sleep a day. Soon thereafter, a lengthy nighttime sleep is complemented by three daytime naps, then two, and finally one, which occurs around age 2. Most children give up their naps between 4 and 6 years.

Timing is important when it comes to naps. The moment you notice your child getting drowsy (rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc.) -- and well before getting cranky – place him in the same crib or bed that he sleeps in during the night. The bedtime setting will become associated with sleeping. This same principle applies to soothing lullaby music. After listening to the same songs for a few days, most kids conk out within minutes of hearing the music. For kids, sameness is nirvana. Daily routines are comforting and help them relax.

If your child is not quite ready to nap, reading stories while snuggling on the bed together will urge him toward sleep. Add his blankie or favorite stuffed animal, low household noise and an optimal temperature in the room, and the odds are in your favor.

When children stop napping, institute a quiet time in their room. It’s good for children and parents alike (but mostly for parents). The secret is out. Happy slumber!

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who shared one of their favorite kid tips with us this week.

BOOKS FOR NAPS
While I was raising my three children, I believed in good naps and would put them in their crib with a pile of books. We would read a few, then I would leave, and they could look at the books as long as they wanted. But when I checked on them, nine times out of 10 I would find them sound asleep with a book tented over their little chest — even my active child! All of my children have grown up, and they still love to read.
-- K.S., Duluth, Minn.

WET SHOELACES
To keep your children’s shoelaces from coming undone, wet them before tying. Use a small spray bottle.
-- P.H.R., Montreal

“FAX ME YOUR HOMEWORK”
I use many different resources to stay in touch with my teen son, who divides his time between my home and his mother’s. We exchange e-mail almost every day and phone each other frequently. Our favorite resource, however, is our home fax machines. When my son needs help with his math homework, he faxes me a copy. I review his work, make corrections if needed, then fax it back to him. Occasionally I call him so we can go over his work in detail. He also faxes me his report cards and other school announcements so I can stay involved in his day-to-day activities.
-- W.L., Piedmont, Calif.

FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE
My toddler battled getting his teeth brushed until someone suggested using a flavored toothpaste. I bought some bubble-gum flavored toothpaste, and he loved it. Now, when he sees me pick up his toothbrush, he opens his mouth immediately. After I finish brushing his teeth, he demands to take over for a few swipes of his own. I guess the important thing is to make brushing as pleasant as possible for the child so he will enjoy it and eventually establish good habits himself.
-- K. Lewis, Kingwood, Texas

LIQUID MEDICINE FOR BABY
Rather than squirting liquid medicine into the baby’s mouth, I hold the dropper and let him open his mouth and suck on it. I only have to squeeze gently at the end to make sure that all the medicine is released.
-- Peg H., San Bernardino, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2008 TomMcMahon

>> February 17, 2008

THE INFANT BRAIN NEEDS A STIMULATING ENVIRONMENT

An infant’s brain is primed for action. It is more active than an adult brain, and it uses more energy. Soon after birth, billions of brain cells—called neurons—begin to connect with each other to create faster and more-efficient pathways within the nervous system. Each individual neuron can make as many as 15,000 new connections. The process kicks into high gear as soon as infants begin to interact with their environment.

The parent’s job is to provide an enriched environment for their baby, one that encourages safe exploration and new experiences. Simply playing with your baby, cuddling together, talking in an animated voice, making funny noises, reading books, visiting the playground and playing with simple toys are stimulating to babies. Expose them to new experiences such as colors, shapes, textures, sounds, balls, mobiles and games.

These stimulating interactions create changes and connections in the infant brain. It can give a boost to your child’s cognitive development. The first few years of life provide the best opportunity for a child’s environment to influence optimal brain development. It is a window of opportunity, lasting for the first three years, that you don’t want to miss.

Send in your favorite kid tip. Thanks to all of the parents who shared a tip with us this week.

LEARNING COLORS
Babies can discriminate colors very early if they are taught to do so. I used different-color balls and would roll them to the baby. I would say, “Here comes the red ball”; or ask, “Where’s the green ball?”; or say, “Roll the blue ball to Mommy.” Start with two very different colors, and then add more colors as your baby progresses.
-- N.S., San Jose, Calif.

PART-TIME POTTY TRAINING
It seemed too much of a burden for our young children to be aware of bodily functions all day as soon as they put "big pants" on. So we let the kids wear their training pants about an hour at first, and then asked if they wanted to go "Off Duty" and wear a diaper. After a while, we waited two hours; then we waited all morning. After a couple of weeks, my daughter decided that she could be "On Duty" even at night. We suggested that she try over a naptime first, but we agreed that she could try whenever she was ready.
-- B. Fellner, Hilliard, Ohio

TOYS FOR THE CAR
I have toys that can be played with only in the car. They are not allowed in the house. They include a Magna Doodle, some special books, colored pads of paper and one hand-held electronic game. It’s always a treat now to ride in the car.
-- Greg M., Indianapolis, Ind.

PRESCHOOLERS CAN READ, TOO
Pre-readers can quickly learn to read certain words in a storybook. Pick out one to three words that appear multiple times in the story, such as names or easy-to-read words like "dog." Teach the child how to say and identify those words. Using your fingers to track the words in the story, prompt your child to repeat those special words you identified earlier. He will stay involved in the story better while learning an important new skill: reading.
-- Rebecca R., San Jose, Calif.

WILL IT MATTER NEXT YEAR?
Be selective in deciding what is worth fighting about with your teenager. As much as possible, concentrate on those things that affect the long-term development of mind, body and soul. Apply the “long-term rule of thumb”: Will it matter next year? If not, forget it. For example, will the messy state of her room matter to her long-term development? Probably not. Close the door.
-- L. Sanderson, Garland, Texas

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2008 TomMcMahon

>> February 24, 2008

HOMEWORK: HOW MUCH IS APPROPRIATE FOR GRADES K-6

Nag, nag, nag. Go do your homework!

After pouring over 60 different research studies on homework from 1987 to 2003, Dr. Harris Cooper and his colleagues at Duke University concluded that the nagging parent above was correct — homework does help students succeed in school, especially for those in grades seven through 12. One explanation for why younger children benefit less from homework than older children is their limited attention span, difficulty in tuning out distractions in the home and lack of good study skills.

Some studies suggest that homework can improve young children’s scores on the class tests that come at the end of a topic. Students assigned homework in second grade did better on math; third- and fourth-graders did better on English skills and vocabulary; and fifth-graders did better on social studies. Practice assignments also improve scores on class tests at all grade levels.

The other significant finding by Cooper was that too much homework can be counterproductive for students at all levels. The National PTA and the National Education Association have an informative parent guide titled “Helping Your Child Get the Most Out of Homework” (www.nea.org/parents/homework.html).” It states, “Most educators agree that for children in grades K-2, homework is more effective when it does not exceed 10-20 minutes each day; older children, in grades 3-6, can handle 30-60 minutes a day.”

Next week we will focus on homework issues for grades seven through 12. Thanks to the parents who shared a favorite kid tip with us this week.

HOMEWORK TUTOR
As our children’s homework got more difficult, especially the math, they would get frustrated, and so would my husband and I. Either the material was beyond our own knowledge or we didn’t know clever ways to explain it. The first tutor we hired to help us was a neighbor who taught math. Our daughter came home from the first session smiling and saying, “I got it!” Our household was peaceful again. In the years to follow, we hired a neighborhood college student as a tutor and even used a professional tutoring business for a short time. It worked for us.
-- N.K., Wilmette, Ill.

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO SLEEP”
When my daughter needed to take a nap, she’d always fight me on it. I finally told her that she didn’t have to go to sleep, she just had to lie down and be quiet. More often then not, she was out in five minutes. It worked with my granddaughter too! -- Katherine Laws, Union City, Calif.

A TACTILE EXPERIENCE FOR BABIES
My 9-month-old son loves to touch different textures, so I'm making a small texture quilt for him. It's more of a toy than something to sleep with. I went to the fabric store and found all sorts of crazy, interesting fabrics with fun textures (velvet, fur, corduroy, etc.). I shopped the clearance aisles and got a bunch for only $4! I think he will love it!
-- Kristy S., Syracuse, Utah

TOYS FOR THE POTTY
To offer my son an incentive to sit on the potty, I had a plastic colander with special toys that we kept in the bathroom. He could play with these toys only while sitting on the potty.
-- Jayme T., Fremont, Calif.
Note: One of the tricks to this tip is to keep rotating the potty toys. If a child gets bored with the toys, the incentive will cease being effective. (T.M.)

PRESSURE TO WORK LONG HOURS
Parents should caution their teenagers about being pressured by their employers to work longer hours than they originally agreed on. I've seen this happen with my own daughter and some of her friends. Employers often don't care about other obligations a teen has outside of work, including school and family responsibilities. Impress upon your teenagers that their future is more important than a low-paying temporary job.
-- Anonymous, Scottsdale, Ariz.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2008 TomMcMahon