>> february, 2009

>> Feburary 1, 2009

TEENS/YOUNG ADULTS SHOP FOR MAJORS

Before the early years of the 20th century, young men usually worked in the same job as their father, and young women had few, if any, choices of occupations outside the home. Now, our youth and young adults stress over the seemingly endless possibilities, with over 20,000 different occupations chronicled by the U.S. Department of Labor.

So, where should high-school and college students begin their search for college majors, vocations and careers? First, they should be encouraged to think about their passions and which occupations might match. Next, they need to acquaint themselves with the broad range of career possibilities. Unfortunately, most young people choose a lifelong occupation from a very small list, perhaps 10 to 20 of the most popular majors.

As a former college counselor, I recommend that our youth and young adults spend at least one hour with the “2008-09 Occupational Outlook Handbook.” Go to www.stats.bls.gov/oco/home.htm, and then click on the general categories on the far-left column. It will take you to the other 1,980 careers that you have never heard of or considered. One might ring your teen’s bell. Make a list of those careers that pique his or her interest. The decisions he or she makes could last a lifetime.

Please send in your favorite parenting tips.

MATH FUN FOR SIBLINGS
A fun math game for two siblings who are close in age is to take a deck of cards, divide them in half and give each child a stack. They will each turn over one card. The older child has to multiply the two cards, and the younger has to add or subtract (depending on his or her grade level). The quickest to say the correct answer wins both cards. Whoever has the most cards when the deck is depleted wins. It is a fun and easy way for parents to teach two kids at one time.
-- Stephani G., Pleasanton, Calif.

WELCOME HOME BASKET FOR NEW MOM
To welcome home a mom with a new baby, there’s nothing better than a pretty basket filled with things for the whole family: candy and other treats for the older siblings, diapers, diaper coupons, personal-hygiene items, an assortment of baby products, loaves of quick breads and scented soaps. It’s something that is always appreciated.
-- Sandy C.M., Boone, Iowa

VIDEO CARE PACKAGE FOR COLLEGE STUDENT
I sent my son a family “care package” a week or so after he left for college. As a freshman, he was feeling a bit homesick and overwhelmed by his academic work. So, I filled a box with homemade cookies, notes or cards from each family member (including one with a paw print from his dog), a videotape of friends and family (including some loud barks from the pooch), some photos and an assortment of his favorite snacks. For an extra special touch, I sent it with an overnight carrier instead of U.S. mail. He loved it!
-- Anonymous, Portland, Ore.
Note: When sending care packages, ask for the U.S. Postal Service flat-rate box (about the size of a shoe box) with priority two-to-three day delivery anywhere in the U.S. for just $9.80. (T.M.)

NEWSPAPER BAGS
I recycle most of the plastic bags that our newspapers come in during the wet winters. I use them for dirty diapers while on the go (car, plane, shopping center, etc.). Tying a knot at the top of the bag will seal in odors.
-- Brenda W., Uniontown, Pa.
Note: The plastic bags are also useful for covering an arm cast during a shower. (T.M.)

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> February 8, 2009

PRINCIPLES OF GOOD PARENTING

Several years ago, after reviewing decades of research on parenting and child development, Dr. Laurence Steinberg came to the conclusion that we really did know what sort of parenting is most likely to help children and adolescents grow up in healthy ways. He summarized this evidence in a book called “The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting” (Simon and Schuster, 2005). Here’s what all parents, regardless of their child’s age, should keep in mind:

1. What you do matters.
2. You cannot be too loving.
3. Be involved in your child’s life.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
5. Establish rules and set limits.
6. Help foster your child’s independence.
7. Be consistent.
8. Avoid harsh discipline.
9. Explain your rules and decisions.
10. Treat your child with respect.

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who shared their favorite kid tips with us this week.

TWO PRINCIPLES OF DISCIPLINE
Whenever I have to discipline one of my teens, I try to remember two rules: 1) The punishment should be fair and fit the crime, and 2) Never discipline in the heat of anger.
-- Anonymous

THE ART OF BODY TRACING
Have siblings or friends trace around each other’s body while lying flat on a large piece of butcher or poster paper. Afterward, the children can color in the details (eyes, nose, clothes, etc.). Save the drawing and do it again in six months so you can compare the sizes. If you have colored chalk, try this activity on your driveway or sidewalk.
-- R.D., Moscow, Idaho

DO A CHORE, GET A TOY BACK
When my children leave their toys out so I have to pick them up, I put them in a box. On Saturday, the children have to complete one chore for each toy they want back from the box.
-- Linda C., Fremont, Calif.

LOOK DAY, BUY DAY
Our child used to beg for a toy, book or candy every time we went shopping, so my husband and I decided that before we left the house to go shopping, we would decide whether this was a buying day or a looking day. When we make that decision at home, my son knows that he need not beg for something. If it is a buying day, he takes his money that he has to spend, and he spends that. Now we have less fussing and fewer tantrums on our shopping trips, especially as we cruise through the toy section.
-- S.H., Grand Island, Neb.

FORM YOUR OWN "PLAY SCHOOL"
When my twins were 2, I thought I would go crazy if I didn't get some time to myself, but I couldn't afford preschool or baby sitters. I found two friends who were in the same boat, and we formed our own "play school." We each volunteered to host the "school" in our home one morning a week (Monday, Wednesday or Friday). This meant that two mornings each week I had time to myself, and one morning a week I was the "teacher." We played games, sang songs, made crafts and had snack and story time. With only three or four little ones, it was a snap! The kids quickly became buddies, and so did the moms. The best part: it was free — and so was I!
-- D. Schutt, Concord, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> February 15, 2009

THE MOST FAMOUS MODELING CLAY TURNS 52

It feels good to the touch and smells even better. It can transform into whatever you can imagine. What began as a wallpaper cleaner in 1956 is now known as one of the most popular toys in history: Play-Doh. Who would have thought that a toy created 52 years ago would still be popular enough today to get more than a million hits on Google? The parent company of Play-Doh, Hasbro, sells more than a hundred products that children can use with the “Doh.” Ninety-eight million cans of it are sold each year.

Homemade “Play-Dough” costs just pennies and can be prepared in your kitchen in a matter of minutes. There are hundreds of different variations and recipes. My daughter and I spent the greater part of a Saturday mixing up numerous concoctions, followed by serious testing by the kids in our neighborhood. We were on a mission to find the best recipes, and we succeeded! Here are two good ones.

BEST HOMEMADE PLAY DOUGH RECIPES
Both of these recipes below are superb and inexpensive. Store in a covered container. Children should not eat the dough. Offer your child safe kitchen utensils, especially cookie cutters, as tools for their creations. The Play-Doh Fun Factory toys are excellent. Display the masterpieces as table decorations.

SMELL-DOUGH
Mix 3 cups flour, ½ cup salt and 1 Tbl. Alum. Add two packages unsweetened Kool-Aid, 3 Tbl. oil and 2 cups boiling water. Mix well, then place on a cutting board. When cool, knead with your hands.
-- Jennifer G., Moraga, Calif.

KOOL-AID PLAY DOUGH Mix
1 cup flour, ½ cup salt and 2 tsp. cream of tartar in medium saucepan. Mix 1 cup water, 1 Tbl. oil and 1 package unsweetened Kool-Aid? (or a few drops of food coloring) in a glass measuring cup and pour into the saucepan. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon while cooking over medium heat until the mixture forms a ball. Place on a cutting board. When cool, knead with your hands.
-- Anonymous

LEAKY DIAPERS
Our baby’s diaper leaked during the night so we stuck a cloth diaper inside the next-size disposable diaper.
-- S.H., Milwaukie, Ore.

NOTICE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE POSITIVE
Catch your children in the act of doing something right or helpful, even it it’s something as trivial as clearing their plate from the table. Tell them you appreciate it! Make a conscious effort to notice the positive things they do and focus on those.
-- Phyllis A., Papillion, Neb.

CALM, CLEAR, AND QUICK DISCIPLINE
Most teens learn that if they argue long enough, they'll eventually get their way by wearing you down. The best discipline is explained clearly and administered calmly. This strategy has worked well with my teens.
-- L.H., Windsor, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> February 22, 2009

MESSY BEDROOMS: JUST KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED

For at least eight decades, the interactions and quarrels between parents and teens have not changed much. The same four squabbles have endured over time: messy bedrooms, curfews, clothing style and leisure time. Beyond these specific conflicts, most teens and parents share surprisingly similar principles.

Some parents can ignore a messy bedroom, while others cannot. I recommend ignoring as much as possible. If you can’t, a battle will erupt. In one corner of the ring stands a parent who is grossed out by the sight and smell of her child’s room. In the other corner, a teen proclaims, “It’s my room, so leave me alone.”

I recommend offering your teen an olive branch by explaining that as long as her bedroom door is shut, and the fumes of her six-week old baloney sandwich cannot escape into other rooms, she can keep her room however she wants. However, if she leaves her door open, she must clean her room within 24 hours. You can also take away your teen’s phone until he cleans his room. That will get immediate results!

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who shared a kid tip with us this week. Our first tip below continues with the subject of parent-teen conflict.

CURFEW STRATEGY WORKS THROUGH THE AGES
The curfew that my father used over 50 years ago (time doesn’t change a lot) was to set an alarm clock on the hall table, set for the time I was to be home from a date. I would then turn off the alarm if I arrived on time. If not, big trouble for me!
-- Nancy M., Ogden, Utah
Note: Be aware of this potential teen scheme. Many teens shut off the alarm then head right out of the house for late-night adventures. (T.M.)

A LESSON ABOUT TEEN CLOTHES
I realized that each week I was washing twice the amount of clothes for my 13-year-old daughter that I would consider normal, even for a teenager. Often, a top or pants seemed barely worn – probably tried on, rejected and left on the floor before being thrown into the laundry. In part to teach my daughter to take better care of her clothes, I turned her laundry over to her completely. I wrote out washing and drying instructions for each kind of load, and I helped her as needed. I now enjoy some extra free time and have noticed that she does a lot less laundry than I did for her. A lesson learned!
-- N.K., Wilmette, Ill.

ICE CREAM ON THE FLOOR
Young children sometimes lose ice cream from their cones. The simple solution is to place a drinking straw right through the center of the ice cream to the bottom of the cone. That will keep it from falling off.
-- Rose G., Fremont, Calif.

STOPPING SIBLING RIVALRY
My three elementary-school-age daughters used to quarrel all the time. I used every discipline technique known to man, and I’ve read books on the topic of sibling rivalry, all to no avail in stopping the bickering. The only strategy that truly worked for me was to set up situations for them to help and support each other. I involved the girls in planning each other’s surprise birthday parties, buying gifts for each other and helping each other with chores.
-- G.G., Atlanta

LOVING THEM ENOUGH TO SAY “NO”
Loving children doesn’t mean never saying no; it means loving them enough to say no.
-- Anonymous, Pittsburgh, Penn.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon