>> january, 2009

>> January 4, 2009

INDOOR ACTIVITIES FOR STORMY WEATHER

As the blustery weather beats against the outside of the window, little faces peer out from the other side. "We’re bored," they whine, as they look down at their all-too-familiar toys and games. With the weather becoming more intense and unpredictable, our little ones will be housebound more often.

If your kids say, “There’s nothing to do,” relax, and try one of these proven strategies: *Bring all of your outdoor toys into the garage. Invite friends over. *Throw a bedspread over your dining table, then yell, “Hurry, get into the tent” (Even better, put up a real tent in your living room). *Work on a puzzle together. *Flip playing cards into a hat. *Create a train by lining up four chairs while shouting “All aboard.” *Throw a Barbie doll or tea party. *Bring home an empty, large appliance box. The kids will know what to do. *Line up 10 or more dominoes, and then knock them over by pushing the last one against the next one in line. *Watch a family video.

If you have other indoor tips, send me an e-mail.

THE CREATIVE BOX
This is a great time of year to make a “creative box” for your children. It will come in handy on rainy or snowy days. Get a large box that is not too deep, then begin filling it with things from around the house: wrapping paper, ribbons, old magazines, tissue paper, buttons, yarn, beads, paper-towel and toilet-paper tubes, feathers, glitter, doilies, glue sticks, etc. Before you throw something away, ask yourself if it would be good for the creative box. Sit back and watch the creativity.
– J. Johnson, Iowa

SET A LIMIT ON SNACKS
Once a week, I give my three children five poker chips; each child has their own color. They can “buy” one snack (cookies, candy, etc.) with each poker chip. Once the five poker chips are gone for that week, they get no other sweet treats. When I noticed that my children had an unused poker chip at the end of the week, I offered to buy each one back for 50 cents. This limits the amount of sweets, and it can add to her allowance money.
-- Mike M., Columbus, Ga.

A STOCKPILE OF BIRTHDAY GIFTS
I keep a stockpile of four or five birthday gifts that I use when one of my three children get invited to a friend’s birthday party. This has saved me countless trips to the mall. I always keep an eye out for clever gift ideas when I go shopping with my children. If they like a particular item, usually their friends will, too.
– A.B., Pleasanton, Calif.

PHOTO ALBUMS IN CAR
One of the things that keep my children occupied in the car during errands or vacations is family photo albums. My young children love to flip through the photos to see themselves during younger days (especially baby pictures) and to remember our family celebrations, vacations and visits to our relatives' homes. This is especially fun for preschoolers who can't read books.
-- J.T., Fleetwood, Penn.

JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER
When I began dating, my mom told me to "always treat your girlfriend the same way you would want your sister to be treated by her boyfriend." Without moralizing or going into detail, my mother was able to communicate some important standards with this statement.
-- M.G., San Francisco

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> January 11, 2009

PARENTS, YOUR CREATIVITY IS IMPRESSIVE

The creativity of parents never ceases to amaze me. Parents are especially clever when we feel backed against the wall with a parenting issue. I think of the mother who made up a batch of “monster spray” (spray bottle with water and a few drops of perfume), which she sprayed in her son’s bedroom to ward off his frequent nightmares. Or the dad who offers a lollipop before and after his kids take bad-tasting medicine. These ideas and thousands more, have made a positive difference in my own household and countless others.

As a new year begins, I want to pay tribute to the thousands of readers who have contributed a parenting tip to this column over the past 16 years. The column has grown to 40 newspapers in 21 states, plus Canada and Dubai (U.A.E.). Continue to share your ideas as you think of them (I’ll list your name or initials with each tip). Every parent has at least one clever idea that will make parenting easier and more effective for the rest of us. E-mail me at tom@kidtips.com.

Thanks to the parents who sent in a tip this week.

FIND THOSE PENNIES!
I have four kids under 6 years old (yes, we have twins!), and I have a rainy-day activity that we like. I have two rolls of pennies, totaling 100 pennies, that I hide all over the house. For the youngest child, I use fewer pennies and limit it to a single room. Then the kids start hunting for the loot. When they get to the point where they cannot find any more pennies, they count them. If they have less than 100, they keep searching. It can keep them busy for hours.
-- Hilarie O’Connor, Walnut Creek, Calif.
Note: Be careful that young children do not swallow the pennies. (T.M.)

HAND CLEANSER FOR SCHOOL
Colds and flues can be minimized by using an instant antiseptic hand cleanser. Our young kids keep a small 4-oz. bottle of sanitizer lotion in their school backpacks. They use it twice a day, once after recess and again after lunch. We practiced using it at home before they took it to school.
-- S.J.R., Baton Rouge, La.
Note: Teens also should use these products. Moist towelettes will also work. (T.M.)

"TELL ME ABOUT YOUR ART WORK"
I love to admire my children's art projects, but I cringe when they show me a drawing and ask, "Daddy, do you know what this is?" I usually guess wrong. "That's a great-looking gorilla," I once said, admiringly. "But Daddy," my daughter replied with a frown, "that's not a gorilla — that's you. Can't you tell?" Since then, my wife has taught me to respond to their drawings by saying, "Tell me about it," instead of trying to guess.
-- Thomas Leslie, San Diego, Calif.

SWIMMING MASKS MAKE HAIR WASHING FUN
My two kids hated getting their hair washed until I bought them swimming masks. Now, when I rinse their hair, they won’t get soap in their eyes.
-- Emily W., Hudson, N.H.

DIP IT
Kids will eat veggies if you let them dip it into something they like. I serve celery, baby carrots, broccoli and cucumber sticks with one or two of the following: peanut butter, ranch dressing, yogurt, ketchup or cheese dip.
-- K.F.B., Sacramento, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> January 18, 2009

LIFE SKILLS ARE LEARNED THROUGH PLAY

“Can Trevor come out and play?” a young boy asks his friend’s mom after school. Such a question is rare these days since a growing number of children are busy after school and on weekends. Over the years, spontaneous play with friends in the neighborhood has been replaced by activities that are highly organized, competitive and run by adults.

Some structured activities are worthwhile, but let’s not forget about hide-and-go-seek, playing make-believe, shooting hoops in the driveway and making bike ramps out of stuff found in the garage. Life skills are learned through play with other kids. Even a dirt lot can teach cooperation, creativity, ingenuity and engineering.

My own grammar-school days were spent playing at an undeveloped field of ponds, pollywogs and frogs and on my home street, where we played whatever sport was in season. Nothing was ever formally organized; we just made fun for ourselves.

Almost sixty-years ago, President Harry S. Truman’s “White House Conference on Children and Youth” endorsed the virtues of play, creative expression and leisure time for building children's social skills. I think Truman got it right.

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who shared a kid tip with us this week.

FREE PLAYHOUSE, FORT, STORE OR POST OFFICE
Large cardboard boxes make great playhouses for make-believe play, indoors or outside. They are free for the taking at appliance stores. Get one with a top if you can, take it home and remove any staples or nails. Let the children decorate the interior with safe kids’ paint and their own artwork. Drapes can be made using fabric remnants. Then just stand back and watch your children’s imagination transform the box into a fort, dollhouse, store, post office, etc.
-- Kathy J., Seattle

911 FOR EMERGENCIES
Put nail polish on the numbers 9 and 1 on your push-button phone so children will remember what numbers to dial in an emergency.
-- Debra K., Fremont, Calif.
Note: Also, put a sticky note on the phone with the numbers 9-1-1. (T.M.)

HAVE STROLLER, GET EXERCISE
Head to the biggest mall in town with baby and stroller in tow, and pedometer recording your mileage to show off. Be ready when the doors open. I love early mornings before the crowds show up. It’s great exercise and a safe environment. Try it. You’ll meet other moms and their kids.
-- P.K., Knoxville, Ten.

FREEZE THAT LOOK
I read your column and always enjoy hearing what other parents do. I have a teenager, and when she entered the pre-teen, ultra-sassy, full-of-attitude stage, in the midst of her shouting or giving me dirty looks, I would calmly say, "Freeze your face and go look at yourself in the mirror.” The ugly look was enough to break up the heat of the moment, and almost always, we would end in laughter together. This continues to work today. Of course, there is nothing preventing us from doing this with our spouses as well.
-- Kim Kinney, San Ramon, Calif.

JUNIOR PARTY HELPERS
I recently hired two girls in my neighborhood, ages 9 and 10, to help with my daughter’s 5th birthday party. They helped me organize games and serve food for the 10 guests. They enjoyed the experience while earning a few dollars, and the 5-year-olds loved the attention from the older girls.
-- J.O., Minneapolis

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> January 25, 2009

BUSINESS STRATEGY WORKS FOR PARENTS AND KIDS

If you want your child to try a new food item, start a new chore, establish a bedtime routine, read for a set time each day or begin any other new behavior, try the same approach that successful salespeople and charity fund-raisers use: start small and build. It’s also known as the “foot-in-the-door” phenomenon — the tendency for people who agree to a tiny request to comply later with a larger one. The effectiveness of this technique has been proven in numerous psychological studies. You might experience similar success with your own children.

If you want to initiate a bedtime routine with a young child, begin with brushing teeth and story time. Later, add picking up toys. New foods should be introduced in tiny portions. Laundry responsibilities can begin with folding clothes, followed by putting them away, operating the dryer and, finally, using the washing machine. Sneaky, huh?

Thanks to all of the parents and grandparents who shared a kid tip with us this week.

SLOW PROGRESSION OF CHORES
To gradually introduce my children to household chores when they were young, I thought of simple chores that could be accomplished in the same number of minutes as their age. For example, a 5-year-old could help me match socks for five minutes. The progression of chores was so gradual that they never thought much about it. Keeping chores brief and simple was the key.
-- S.N., Columbus, Ga.

ENCOURAGE READING
The sight and availability of books help develop the concept that books are a part of daily life. Keep a stack of books in places your child will be: next to the big easy chair, the little rocking chair, or the bed. Also, stimulate interest by positioning some of the books on the shelf with the covers facing out.
-- Debbie P., Livermore, Calif.

A LETTER TO MY PRETEEN
When my daughter turned 12, I wrote her a letter welcoming her to the threshold of adolescence. I told her that I looked forward to the adventure ahead. I also warned her that there would be times when we wouldn’t see eye to eye, but that I would always love her and always make decisions in her best interests. I signed off hoping that we would be best friends in her 20s and beyond. It was a nice way to begin a new era together.
-- Anonymous

SLOWING DOWN OBESITY
Your child’s diet begins with what you put into your shopping cart. If you put junk food and other fatty foods into your cart, that’s what your kids will eat. Likewise, if you put fresh veggies, fruit and other healthy foods in your cart, that’s what your kids will eat. Forbid fast foods and sodas.
-- F.K., Modesto, Calif.

LOG 1,000 MILES BEFORE GETTING LICENSE
After receiving their learner's permits to drive, our three teens had to log 1,000 miles driving with my husband or me before they could apply for their license. It usually took them less than a year to accumulate the mileage because we would let them do much of the driving on our vacations and they would frequently drive from our country home to town. They kept track of their miles in a little book that was kept in the car. By the time they had logged 1,000 miles, they had driven at night, in winter road conditions, and had encountered most other driving conditions.
-- Shirley Y., Webster City, Iowa

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon