>> june, 2009

>> June 7, 2009

THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO BE IN COLLEGE

Teenagers are facing the worst employment market in sixty years. Both fulltime and part-time jobs are so scarce that many adults are now seeking work that used to be for teens.

On a positive note, there is a silver lining for those in college undergraduate programs and especially for high school seniors just graduating. Their timing is perfect. Since there are very few opportunities to find good jobs for the next few years, stay in college. By the time the class of 2009 graduates from college, the economy will be stronger and possibly more vital than ever. You might even be recruited! Bide your time collecting a degree or two. Let the weak economy work to your advantage.

For parents strapped for money after the downturned economy, community colleges offer an excellent education for the first two years of college, and at a fraction of the cost of university courses. California, for example, has two million students at 110 campuses. The cost is only $20 per unit.

Thanks to the parents who shared one of their kid tips with us this week.

STARTING A NEIGHBORHOOD BUSINESS
Our twin boys are adults now, but when they were teenagers they complained about never having enough money. So I came up with a plan that they enthusiastically endorsed: I fronted the money for a drivable mower that also came equipped with a rototiller and plow. The three of us would be co-owners, so each boy owed me a third of the cost. The boys quickly had over twenty customers per week (mowing and tilling in the summer and snow plowing in the winter). They paid me back sooner than expected. As businessmen, they gained valuable experience working with adult customers, billing and budgeting their time and money. It was a great job considering the alternative of working for minimum wage at a fast-food restaurant. Sometimes parents need to invest their time, creativity and resources to help their kids get started in an activity.
-- J. Rogers, Johnstown, Pa.

A BAND-AID — INSIDE AND OUT
So everyone (especially playmates) knows where the sore-spot site is, I put a Band-Aid on the outside of the clothing over the sore spot.
-- D.M., Fremont, Calif.

URINE CARPET STAINS
I first learned this tip as a pet owner, but also found it useful as a mom of three children. Club soda works great to remove urine stains on carpets. First, blot up as much urine as possible. Pour club soda on the stain and let the bubbles do the work. Soak it up with a cloth or sponge, then rinse with plain water.
-- B.W.M., Knoxville, Ten.

"WE LIKE HOW OUR CHILDREN TURNED OUT"
Parenting toddlers teaches you that you can't eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom for your kids. Parenting teens teaches you that you can't succeed for them or do their hurting for them, either. Be very clear about who owns what dreams, and whose problems are whose. Our sons are not turning out to be quite the people we expected, but they are turning out to be the people they are comfortable being. We've discovered that we like that — and them — a lot.
-- J.G., Fairport, N.Y.

SHARE THE VIDEO RECORDER
If you're the main camera operator in your family, I recommend sharing the chore with other family members. I just watched a few hours of home movies, and I wasn't in one scene.
-- J.R.K., Reading, Pa.

Please send in your favorite discipline tip for young children or teens.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> June 14, 2009

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT GRATITUDE

An important but seldom-taught lesson, is the value of gratitude. In a culture like ours, where the norm is to always want more, it’s important to encourage children to think about being thankful and to feel fortunate for what they already have. When they do, they often get a boost of happiness and optimism. So do adults, claim researchers. Preschoolers and school-age children can start their own gratitude journal or calendar where they (or you) write down something they are grateful for each day. Parents can nurture this activity by praising their choices, encouraging dialogue and sharing their own gems of gratitude. Your local children’s librarian will surely have many suggestions of good books on the subject.

Of all the people who can benefit most from the value of gratitude, it’s teenagers. They are bombarded by advertisers with the message that they need more things, from the latest iPod to the coolest jeans. Occasionally they need a parent to step in, like I have a few times, with a quick and gentle reminder about what is really important — having each other, good health and a roof over our heads.

Thanks to the parents who shared one of their kid tips with us this week.

ENCOURAGE THE POSITIVE
To encourage my children to notice the positive things in life, I ask them to say three positive things about their day before telling us something negative. This works great for my family. Instead of coming home complaining of every little thing that went wrong that day, they come home sharing all the good news. I’m hoping this will teach them to concentrate on the positives and forget about the silly negatives. This daily ritual could also be a fun way to begin dinner conversation each evening.
-- Sharon, San Andreas, Calif.

FIVE STEPS TO KEEP KIDS HAPPY ON A FLIGHT
1. Exhaust them before entering the plane. If appropriate, have them walk to the gate instead of using a stroller and/or have a race to and from various things in the airport. 2. If you have two adults, one should pre-board and organize the carry-on items. 3. Enjoy watching the planes. Every two minutes say, “Let’s go to the next window!” 4. Offer a snack and a trip to the potty before boarding the plane. 5. You and the children should be one of the last to board, saving them from sitting in a cramped seat for an extra 20 to 30 minutes.
-- M.L.T., Portland, Ore.

EXPLORE A DRAWER
Choose a drawer that is accessible to children and fill it with interesting items that promote exploring and discovery and are age-appropriate. For my grandchildren, my "ExploraDrawer" has markers, magnifying glasses, things that float, magnets, eye droppers, a homemade rain gauge, a pinwheel, a keychain measuring tape, straws and other items for "mad scientist" experiments. Make sure all the items are safe and age appropriate to play with.
– R. Reed, Des Moines, Iowa

HEALTHY SNACKS IN ICE-CREAM CONES
My children were never interested in healthy snacks until I began serving them in ice-cream cones. I fill the cones with pudding or yogurt and bite-size pieces of fruit.
--- C.P.T., Minneapolis

POPSICLES FOR HEALTH
I kept fruit-flavored Popsicles in the freezer, and if I had a child who was sick and needed fluids, I would give them one.
-- C.B., Raleigh, NC

Please send in your favorite discipline tips.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> June 21, 2009

MALE PARENTING, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DAD

“It is a wise father that knows his own child,” writes William Shakespeare, who simply defined the most important goal of fatherhood. We celebrate once a year to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have great dads and to show our love and respect for fathers of all ages, including those who have passed and those who have faithfully stepped-in as a father figure for a child.

“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father“(Lydia M. Child, 1836). Some men grow into fatherhood the moment they witness their first child’s birth. There is nothing more dramatic and life changing. As a rookie dad, I was so protective of my baby that I caught myself driving home from the hospital at a snail-paced 15 MPH. Drivers honked, I ignored.

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong,” wrote Charles Wadworth. My appreciation for my own father has grown over the years, even after his death. What I disliked about him as a teen, I now admire as a parent.

“Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys” (Anonymous). Dads parent differently than mothers. For better or worse, dads are often seen as the enforcer, the lecturer and the punisher. It’s our job title, which has evolved over many centuries. One thing is for sure: Much of what dads do is for the betterment of our children, to make a better life for them. Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

Thanks to the parents and grandparents who contributed a kid tip this week.

LUNCH WITH DAD
When my three daughters were in high school, I used to take each one, one at a time, to lunch with me. They could pick the restaurant and order anything (within reason) they wanted. This was their private time with me. They could talk about whatever they wanted, and I would listen. I would give advice only if they asked for it, and our conversations were always confidential. Sometimes they had nothing special to talk about, but other times they did. My daughters are all in their 20s now, but they still want their alone time at lunch with Dad. And I still have to pay!
-- Pastor Don Reed, Omaha, Neb.

BACKYARD CAMPING
It’s fun to occasionally set up our big family tent in the backyard. All four of our children camp out and sleep in their sleeping bags. They each get to bring their favorite toy, stuffed animal and a favorite book. We also give them extra blankets for padding, flashlights and a cell phone to call us, if necessary. We leave the fly off the tent so they can watch the stars. The kids sleep really well outside!
-- Teri Norbye, Pleasant Hill, Calif.

SINK THOSE SHIPS
I tell little boys to pretend that the Cheerios in the potty are ships that must be sunk. It’s great practice for potty training.
-- Jerry H., Davidson, N.C.

"TICKETS WILL COST YOU!"
My husband and I paid for our teenagers' car insurance unless they got two moving violations in a period of three years. This was a great incentive for them not to have a lead foot on the accelerator pedal.
-- Karen Dombek, San Diego

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon

>> June 28, 2009

“PASS THE PIG” TEACHES MANNERS

Everyone appreciates a child with good manners. The best tip for teaching manners to children is to start as early as possible, around age three. Otherwise, your children will have to unlearn bad habits, usually requiring much more effort.
Another good idea, specifically for children reluctant to learn table manners, is one that has been passed around parenting circles for years. It’s called “Please Pass the Pig.”

First you need to find or buy a small ceramic, metal or stuffed pig — even a small photo will do — which you place in the center of your dining table. Next, explain in detail the table manners you expect of your family. If someone sees another family member not following proper table manners, he or she is to politely say, “Please pass the pig to so and so.” Whoever (even Dad!) gets stuck with the pig at the end of the meal has to clear the table or wash the dishes.

If you haven’t participated in this column by sharing a kid tip or two, please take a minute to e-mail, fax or call in a favorite family tip. Your tip will appear in newspapers across the country.

“THE TOY IS TAKING A TIME-OUT”
If two or more children argue over a toy or book, the item itself should take a time-out. The children soon learn that it’s better to share than to not have the item at all.
-- S.M., Livermore, Calif.

VINEGAR RINSE REMOVES CHLORINE FROM HAIR
My two children swim almost every day during the summer. To keep their strawberry blonde hair from turning green, I rinse their hair once a week with diluted vinegar. Mix 2 to 3 tablespoons of vinegar with water in a large plastic tumbler and pour through hair after shampooing. Rinse a few more times with plain water to remove the vinegar smell. Be sure not to get it in their eyes!
This worked better than the commercial products we tried. Another tip to reduce chlorine buildup is to wet the hair with plain water before entering the pool. This will reduce the amount of pool water absorbed by the hair.
-- N.L., Corvallis, Ore.

UNHAPPY TEEN CAN RUIN FAMILY VACATION
We have always allowed our teenage son to take a friend with us on our annual vacation. There's usually no extra charge for one more teen in a motel room, and the parents often send along meal and spending money. If there is any inconvenience, it's still much better than bringing an unhappy teen on your vacation. They can make the vacation miserable for everyone if they choose to. One time, my son couldn't find anyone to take with him, so I asked his friend's parents if he could stay with them for a week. He did, and it worked out great. And then his friend stayed with us while his parents went on a vacation.
-- S. Hall, Waterford, Mich.

BABIES LOVE TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES
A small mirror that the baby can hold and look into is a great distraction while on the changing table.
-- M. Ring, New Hampshire

OFFERING ALTERNATIVES TO TODDLERS
Whenever I have to take away something or say "no" to my 13-month-old daughter, I always make sure I offer her something that she can have as an alternative. For example, "No, you may not play in the refrigerator, but here are some pots and pans for you to play with." She tends to have fewer temper tantrums with this approach.
-- Betsy R., Livermore, Calif.

Always keep safety, age appropriateness, and your intimate knowledge of your own child in mind when considering use of any tip.

copyright 2009 TomMcMahon