| Mr.
McMahon,
After 18 years of marriage, my ex-husband
and I divorced in a way that we feel was the best possible
scenario for our two daughters. We have been divorced
for almost 4 years and our daughters, now 14 & 15,
are both doing well. They are both straight A students,
participate in several sports each, 4-H, FCA and our
church's youth group. We frequently receive compliments
on our situation and the positive way our kids have
adapted.
We had never argued in front of the
girls, and in the same manner all of the problems of
our marriage stayed between the two of us. The divorce
was not the girls fault, and in fact they kept us together
longer because of the effort to work things out for
them. Once we decided to divorce, we decided that we
would commit to doing the absolute best job we could
as parents to help the girls as they continued to grow.
Several of our "rules" included true joint
physical custody (we felt both of us were good parents
and contributed positively to the well-being of the
girls), no name-calling or bad mouthing the other parent,
disciplinary actions apply at both homes (groundings,
no TV, etc.), open access to the non-present parent
by phone at any time, and the concentrated effort to
get along like adults for the sake of our daughters.
While it was often difficult at first,
and there are still bumps in the road from time to time,
we are good co-parents and can easily discuss (or debate)
issues regarding the girls as they come up. My ex-husband
has remarried and I have not, so we covered some new
ground over the last year and a half and continue to
work on the situation.
I appreciate your column and thank
you for acknowledging that there can be divorces that
are not bad. We advise anyone we know who is going through
a divorce to try to work for the best possible scenario
for their kids. I have heard many people say that they
would do anything for their kids--this is without a
doubt one of the most far reaching ways to prove it.
Have a great day and keep up the good
work!
Anonymous (Indiana) |
