>> divorce and children

Too many children are still getting caught in the crosshairs of their parents’ divorce. Sometimes the negative effects of this are short-term — during the divorce and a year or two after — but sometimes there are long-term consequences. Most children get creamed because one parent or both can’t refrain from hurting the other, even though psychologists claim that the most important thing a parent can do to minimize the effects of a divorce is to coexist peacefully with his or her former spouse. This involves putting aside differences for the sake of the children and supporting one another in the continuing role as parents.

I plan on writing a series of columns about divorce and children. But I need your help. Tell me your divorce story, good or bad, so other parents can benefit from your experience. How did you help your young children or teens cope with your divorce? How did you and your ex-spouse come to an agreement with custody, visitation, rules and discipline for your children? How did you deal with the holidays? What was it like to become a stepparent or to be a part of a blended family? In hindsight, what would you do differently? E-mail me, send a letter or call me. If you know of a family who had a minimum-impact divorce, ask them to share their wisdom with me.