>> LEARNING TO SAY “I WAS WRONG.

WILL YOU FORGIVE ME”

One of the contributors to my book, “Teen Tips,” wrote: “As parents, we must be willing to admit when we are wrong. A comment like ‘I didn't handle that very well last night’ admits our mistake and helps to restore lines of communication that may have been damaged the night before. If we set an example by admitting when we are wrong and asking for forgiveness, our children will learn to do it as well.”

Teaching our children the value of admitting one’s mistakes and asking for forgiveness is only half of the lesson. On the flip side, to consider forgiving someone who has wronged you is equally important. Some people hold a grudge against a friend for the rest of their lives. I’ve seen family members not talk to each other for decades over a minor issue or disagreement. In these situations, the bitterness and anger grows like a cancer. It can actually be damaging to your health.

Teaching children to forgive someone is not condoning or forgetting the wrong that happened to them. It’s letting go of the anger. It’s moving on. Good feelings and healing often result. As I have explained to my own two daughters, the relationship that was damaged is usually more important than the issue causing the problem.
Thanks to the parents and grandparents who contributed a parenting tip for this week’s column.

WE'RE BOTH ROOKIES—YOU AS A TEEN, WE AS PARENTS OF ONE My wife and I are not afraid to admit our mistakes to our two sons. We also apologize. In one such situation with our oldest son, I told him, "After all, we've never had a 16-year-old son before. We'll make some mistakes occasionally." He seems more willing to cut us some slack when we're honest with him. -- R.H., Fremont, Calif.