>> Puberty: advice
for parents
Parents can play a key role in minimizing the stressful
aspects of their child's puberty cycle by being understanding,
accepting, and tactful. Most importantly, parents need
to talk to their children about puberty before it begins.
Stress can be minimized if teens know what to expect
and have a positive attitude about their forthcoming
changes. Girls should learn about and be prepared for
the onset of menstruation and boys should learn about
ejaculation and be prepared for their first wet dream.
Information about puberty and sexual maturation should
be presented in a manner that is positive and builds
pride, not shame.
I was shocked to learn that approximately one-half of
the young women in each of my adolescent development
college classes never had a parent talk to them about
their first period or how to prepare for it. Many of
the students said they were frightened and alarmed when
it happened; some even thought they were bleeding to
death. No matter how uncomfortable you may feel about
discussing puberty with your children, you must. If
you don’t, your children will learn from their
friends—probably another nine or ten-year-old
who doesn’t know the facts themselves. It’s
also quite common for children to balk at any mention
of “the talk,” out of embarrassment. Some
will even try to convince you that they already learned
about body changes in school. Even if this is true,
this is an opportunity to show your children that they
can talk to you about any topic, whether it’s
about their body, romantic relationships, or sexuality,
and that you will be open and honest with them. This
talk could set the stage for an open line of communication
that will continue throughout the teen years and beyond.
On the other hand, if your children sense that you are
uncomfortable talking about puberty, they probably won’t
even consider you if they have a question about sexuality
later in their development.
A book about puberty can be an excellent ice breaker
or focal point during a talk between a parent and child.
There are some excellent books on this topic specifically
written for children (See the recommended book list
at the end of Chapter 10, “Sexuality and Dating).
Visit your local library or bookstore and pick one out
together. Chances are that your child will read it cover
to cover, but as adolescents often do, they probably
won’t admit to you that it was helpful.
copyright 2006, Tom McMahon
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