>> rOLE-PLAY POSSIBLE SITUATIONS WITH YOUR TEEN

By Tom McMahon (www.kidtips.com)

Adolescence is the prime time for giving up one’s good judgment to peer pressure. It is a powerful force with possible dangerous consequences. Parents should discuss “what if” situations with their teens before an upcoming party, date or outing. Role-playing a potential teen situation in advance will help your child make the right choice if it should occur. Here is one example of a father and son role-playing a common teen issue:

DRINKING ALCOHOL

Father: “You and two friends are heading to a movie, when, all of a sudden, the driver turns onto a remote dirt road and parks. “Boys,” he says with a wide grin while holding up a six-pack of beer, “look what I scored for you.” He hands a can to each of you. What do you do?

Son: “I’d tell them that I’ll be the designated driver.”

Father: “That’s one possibility. What if they begin teasing you, saying that you’re too weak to handle a beer?”

Son: I’d be honest with them, letting them know that I have too much to lose by drinking the beer. I’ll tell them about the contract you made me sign when I first started driving, the one that states if I am ever caught drinking and driving or driving with someone else who has been drinking or doing drugs, I would lose my license for a year. I would tell them that I have two choices, being the designated driver or having them drop me off at a store down the road.

A SEXUAL ADVANCE

Here's another example in which a mother and a daughter role-play the sexual advances of the daughter's boyfriend:

Mother: "You and Roy (the boyfriend) are sitting in his car one evening and he reaches over and kisses you. You're enjoying the kiss when he suddenly begins to fondle your breasts. What do you do?"

Daughter: "I’d grab his hand and tell him to stop."

Mother: "But he says, 'Come on, everyone does it. I promise I won't do anything else.'"

Daughter: "I'd tell him that I'm not comfortable with that kind of touching; I'm just not ready for it yet."

Mother: "But what if he says, 'If you really love me, you would at least let me touch you.' He also tells you that all his friends do this with their girlfriends, so why do you have to be so different?"

Daughter: "I'd tell him that if he really loved me, he would respect my feelings. I'd let him know that this is something that I feel very strongly about. I would tell him that I know for a fact that many of my girlfriends do not let their boyfriends touch them there. And I would also let him know that I don't do things just because other people do them!"

The mother praised her daughter for her responses to such a difficult situation. Then they switched roles, and in doing so the mother offers the daughter some other strategies that could work in that situation.

SMOKING

Dad: Son, I noticed that most of your friends smoke cigarettes. Do you smoke, too?

Son: No I don’t, but my friends are always pressuring me to take a drag.

Dad: Misery loves company, son. What could you tell your friends that would stop them from trying to get you addicted to cigarettes?

Son: Maybe I’ll show them the photos you printed out from the American Lung Association when I was thirteen. That’s what really scared me.

Dad: That might work, but just keep saying “No.” And try to minimize inhaling their second-hand smoke. I’m proud of you, son.


Although role-playing may seem awkward to you at first, you and your teenager will begin to see how helpful this exercise can be. Parents who role-play possible dangerous scenarios with their teen have reported good success. Teenagers realize its value after they encounter a real-life situation that they have already rehearsed.