>> using computer games to connect with your children

If your child enjoys playing computer games, there’s a good chance that you feel like these games have created a wall of silence between the two of you. It’s a common concern that I fully understand. But there are ways to take down this wall, brick by brick, and use these games in your favor to connect in a fun way with your children. As a professor of developmental psychology and author of parenting books, I frequently tell parents that the easiest way to connect with their children is to find out what they enjoy doing, then join them in that activity. Since most kids and teens love to play computer games, there’s your entrée to connect with your kids—and have fun together!

Using this same technique, I found common ground with my two teenagers. Just a few weeks ago, my younger daughter was playing Zoo Tycoon (Microsoft, 2003) in the family room. During the process of building and managing her “zoo” that evening, she asked me to come to her computer five different times to show me her ever-evolving zoo. We laughed hysterically when her chimpanzees escaped from their cage. The next visit was more serious as we discussed different business strategies to increase revenue for her zoo. And when she went out for an hour to play tennis, guess who got promoted to Zoo Keeper? Yes, me! Although I worried that more animals would get into mischief on my watch, I realized what fun it had been to have my 15-year-old daughter invite me into her activity. The more interest I showed, the more she kept inviting me back to her game.

My eldest daughter, a college freshman, and I have also found some common ground in a computer game. We’re both baseball nuts, so we engage in MVP Baseball 2004 (EA Sports) on our Windows PC. First we played together on one computer, and then we played using two computers on our home computer network. We hope to continue playing this game over the Internet when my daughter returns to college next fall. I just hope that I can improve my middle-age perceptual skills by then. Let’s just say that my gaming skills usually end up boosting my children’s self-esteem. But that’s a good thing!

If you haven’t been around computer games recently, you will be amazed at the quality. The technological advances over the past few years have been awesome. I was especially stunned by the overall quality of the games on the Windows XP platform—every little detail is realistic. “It’s like being inside a movie” is how my 18-year-old daughter described the clarity and realism of the latest generation of games. I’m talking about games that work right on your home computer -- no game console is needed.

You may also be surprised at the sheer number of games for Windows available that can provide great family entertainment, in categories such as sports, action, strategy, simulation (flight, racing, etc.), arcade and board games. There are games for virtually all appetites – even if you’re just looking for something very casual like checkers or Scrabble. Online sites like MSN games, Pogo and Yahoo Games also have an impressive selection of family-friendly games. Family game night lives on—it’s just fancier than it was in the 1950s.

If you don’t know where to start or what games for Windows are out there, a good place to start is the Game Advisor on the Microsoft Games for Windows Web site. Click on a category (action, sports, etc.) and age grouping to get a list of titles to review. The Game Advisor will also determine if the games you choose are compatible with your computer. Most titles have links for more information, video clips and even free game previews. Always take advantage of these visuals to help determine the appropriateness and quality of a game.

Happy Gaming!

Tom McMahon